Triumph

Personal Triumph

Many of my days are spent thinking about my workouts.  My next workout.  Sometimes I am so darn excited I can’t get it out of my head.  I’ll spend my entire work day anticipating getting to the gym.  And I love my job, so it’s not like I’m watching the clock for the day to end so I can get the heck outta there, I just really, really can’t wait to get to my happy place.

Let me clear, the gym is not my only happy place, but it sure does change my mood!

How I feel about the gym these days is a lot different than how I felt years ago when I wrote about my addiction to exercise.  Back then, though it was just a couple of years ago, it was an addiction.  I was obsessed with when I was going to exercise next and was working out several times a day, every day.  Now, I’m just excited about my fitness goals and the tasks in front of me and how I feel after I’ve completed the workout.  I’m not dissing my workout goals when I was addicted because I had great goals and I thoroughly enjoyed my workouts.  I think my biggest problem then was that it was controlling me and almost every move I made.  (Cue The Police’s Every Breath You Take.)

These days when I plan a routine for the gym – or even for one of my classes – I’m taking my fitness to new levels.  I’m taking on tasks that I never thought I’d be doing – or interested in.  And when I’m finished, when my time is finally up and I’m ready to leave, I am usually quite pleased with how my time was spent and with what I accomplished.

No regrets

~Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

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Begin (Confessions)

I saw this post in my Facebook feed this today and knew I had to write something about it.

Beginner

…Because this is truth.

We all have to start somewhere.  We are all beginners.  We will not know our full abilities until we try.

When I first began my fitness journey I could not do a full three minutes on my elliptical.  In fact, I found it so hard that I gave up.  I was winded and sweaty (I still sweat like I’m burning in Hell) and, frankly, I was embarrassed that a mere three minutes of cardio nearly killed me and I gave up!

I had bought that elliptical on a whim of trying wanting to be healthy (read: skinny) and I failed.  And, apparently, at that time I was okay with failure.  But then one day, that one particular day, I made a decision and my life changed – forever and for the best.  I swear to God, that elliptical saved my life.  I saw this with all seriousness and certainty.  I was on a path that was destroying me.  My self-esteem was shot, my mental health was in the toilet, and I was overweight to a degree that I should never have let happen.

And I jumped on my elliptical and had my first real workout.

And, although I swore I would never publicly show this photo – I realized, “well shoot!  This was me!  This is what I looked like!”  So, here goes:

Side by side

Left: Before / Right: After 

Yep!  The pic on the left with the scratched out face and the really, really badly blonde hair is me.

And you know what’s sad?  I I don’t even recognize that person on the left and I’m ashamed that I allowed myself to treat my body that way. After A Lot of hard work, dedication, and discipline, the pic on the right reflects closer to where I am today. But each day I grow in my fitness. I’m so much stronger and adventurous in my exercising. And I look forward to challenging myself daily.

Once I started exercising regularly and eating healthier, I started feeling better on the inside too.  I know not everyone gets this or agrees. But this is 100% true for me. Exercise helped bring me out of a 10 year depression. It helped with my self-esteem and confidence.  There are days when I still struggle with these but overall, I’ve become a different person.  (Give it a chance….you might be shocked to find that exercise can help you too.)

Mood changer

When I look back to those years ago and hopping on my elliptical and failing miserably at my first attempt of working out, I almost feel glad,  Because I was doing it for the wrong reason.  As I said above, I wanted to start exercising to get thin, not to have a better life.  And it wasn’t until I decided to change my life that my life changed.  That’s when I really began.

So, don’t be afraid to begin.  Even if it means you’re starting over or beginning again.  It’s when you’re really ready that you will make the effort.  As you know, my mantra for years has been “If you’re not willing to do the work, you’re not ready to lose the weight.” (Thank you Shaun T!)  Again, #Truth!

So, don’t be afraid.  Go ahead and begin.  And if you have to, begin again.

~FB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Inspiration

I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s.  And back then, we didn’t have cable at home.  And certainly, we didn’t have overwhelming channels that today’s folks have to choose from.  But, we had a few staple television shows that were watched – The Cosby Show, Who’s the Boss? (my favorite), Growing Pains, etc.  And I was obsessed with teeny-bopper magazines that showcased all my crushes (Kirk Cameron and Michael J. Fox), and potential best-friends (Alyssa Milano).  The famous were beautiful.

When Full House made its way to my television. I instantly was in awe of Candace Cameron.  Aside from the fact that she was Kirk Cameron’s little sister AND had had a small guest appearance on Who’s the Boss?, she was the first girl I’d seen on TV that looked like me: cute curls, a little chubby, and with the “Charlie Brown cheeks” that she referred to in a later episode*.  It was wonderful that I could finally identify with someone on TV and in magazines.  I was elated.

young-cc

How cute was she?

Although Candace said she never had an issue with her weight while filming early in the seasons, season 4 of Full House aired an episode called *”Shape Up”, in which DJ goes on a crash diet to slim down for a pool party.  This was an emotional episode for me for me to watch.  Although my eating disorders didn’t begin until a year or two later, I could completely relate to how DJ was feeling and could already see my own disordered eating and outlook.  (Note: While preparing this post, I re-watched the episode for the first time in likely 20 years and had the same emotional response I had the first time it aired.  To this day, it breaks my heart because I know the struggle and I know that most little girls have and will continue to have this struggle at some point in life.)

Later on, Ms. Cameron Bure declared she developed eating disorders a few years after the show had finished filming.  (Although, she states that it had less to do with her weight and more to do with where she was in her life, emotionally and physically.)

Since her days of self-destruction, Candace Cameron Bure has completely changed her body and her health.  She has an incredible workout regime, and one of the best (celebrity) trainers, Kira Stokes, as her own.  And I have found inspiration in them both.

These two have some of the best workouts I have seen.  As a trainer – and a trainee – I am often looking for ways to keep workouts fresh, innovative, and fun.  And these two ladies sometimes help me get there.

candace-and-kira

Candace Cameron Bure and trainer Kira Stokes (photo via Cameron Bure’s Instagram)

 Aside from gaining inspiration for my workouts, I have found inspiration in Candace  herself, from how she approaches fitness and clean eating and even spiritual health.  Three topics I already have in common with her.  Her approach to how she keeps her body lean and how she looks at her muscle and her strength is refreshing and it’s nice to actually see and hear a celebrity talk about it all and show how much dedication it takes her to keep her body in tip-top shape.  Especially when so many celebrities make the claim “I eat whatever I want and don’t work out.”  Pffftt!!

candace-cameron-3-times

Via US

Although Candace Cameron Bure is a celebrity and she has personal trainers and has appeared on Dancing with the Stars where she spent endless hours each day for endless months dancing non-stop, she is also a woman who has worked incredibly hard to get to get and keep a strong, toned, lean body.  Believe me – that takes work!  And, again, I find it inspiring that she has been so inclined to share her journeys with us, the public.  Through her books and her social media accounts and her television appearances, she has been delightful in showing us that if you set a  goal – and work for it – it can be reached.

And what’s even more delightful, and something I have found truly inspiring since I was a pre-teen, is that when she was a young actress and already a very public figure, she never had issue with her body – even, as it has been stated, when other people had. She was a great role model in childhood and continues to be a role model in adulthood.

I will continue to find inspiration from her.  Where do you find yours?

~FB

Getting Strong

Getting Strong

I saw this meme the other day and instantly thought “YES!”

I can attest to its truth.

You see, for years, I wanted to get fit, healthy, strong.  But I wasn’t ready.  Yes, I wanted it, but, I was embarrassed and ashamed of who I was – on the outside.  I had struggled with my weight my entire life and my insecurities prevented me from really going for the gold with my weight loss.

Instead, I succumbed to eating disorders of many variations, to extreme diets, to weight loss supplements of all forms.  When I exercised it was in secret and privacy and for vanity, not for my health.

For several years now I have carried the mantra “If you’re not willing to do the work, you’re not ready to lose the weight“, and I cling to that.

When I finally joined a gym more than 10 years ago I would get up at the butt-crack of dawn, before the sun was up, and would sneak off for my workout while the rest of the world was still sleeping.  Even then, I was exercising for the wrong reasons.  It was still about vanity.  And I didn’t lose any weight.

It wasn’t until at least a year later when I decided to change my life.  That’s when the changes came.  That’s when I decided to put the work in.  Wrapping my head around that in this moment is so easy, but way back then, I just didn’t get it.

When I started to exercise and changed my eating habits, it was for my health.  And I was putting the work in.  And you know what?  The changes came so quickly.  My health improved and my insecurities subsided (to a point) and I finally felt good.  I fell in love with my life.  And with exercise.  I got over my fears of what people would think of me if they saw me on the treadmill or lifting weights or on the rowing machine.  I got over myself, essentially.  I didn’t look to anyone else for inspiration; I looked at myself.  I inspired me.  My life was worth more than how I had treated it before hand.

Sometimes it can be scary venturing into new or unknown territory.  But your health is more important than being afraid to ask someone for guidance.  Or fearing what others might think of you.  In all honesty, when I’m at the gym I’m not worried about what others are doing there (unless they’re hogging equipment).  I’m there to improve myself.  I’m not there to judge anyone.  And more than likely, the people at your gym aren’t concerned with what you’re doing.

I know, from personal experience, that when I feel like I look better, I actually feel better about myself (back to that vanity thing).  If that means swiping on some lipstick or revving up in cute (although durable) new workout gear, like Adore me, then so be it.  Do what you’ve gotta do to motivate yourself; to encourage yourself; to love yourself.

Don’t be afraid to go for that jog or kick the soccer ball around or try a Zumba class.  Step out of your comfort zone.  Get out of your head.  Give yourself a break.  And just do it already.  Your life is worth it.

Fit Bitch

 

Positivity

Positivity

I saw this little quote today and instantly loved it.  And it’s very fitting tonight.

I taught my boot camp class tonight.  It was a small class, however, I had a newbie.  A first-timer.  She did great!  She kept the sarcasm coming (which I adored), she modified when she needed to, and she kicked butt!

At first, though, she made a few small comments about how she shouldn’t be standing by this person and shouldn’t be looking at that person because she felt she was way behind.  Maybe it was the self-consciousness talking, maybe it was fear of feeling inadequate, maybe she was just being an arse.  But I had to stop her.  I told her not to let herself take away from what she was accomplishing, she was there and she was doing a great job and she should own it.

From then on she accepted it.  She was positive and she we all had a great workout.  She hung onto that positivity and I expect to see her again at the next class.

When I got home and was getting ready to jump in the shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror, half clothed.  I don’t normally admire myself but tonight I was caught off-guard and what I saw was “Damn, I look pretty good!”  It felt good to own that moment and see the positive in my appearance instead of gagging over my arm skin or thighs or tummy.  I’m liking the positivity today.

I try to have a positive outlook as often as possible.  Sometimes I can be a nagging Nelly or a freakish bitch, but honestly, these days I can see what matters and what doesn’t.  I’m finding the positive in each encounter.  I’m embracing it all.  I’m owing it.  You should too.

Stay light, stay positive.

~FB

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better than You Were (Day 27)

Better than you

Each day that you get up and choose to live a healthier life is a day when you are better than you were (when you were making less-than-healthy choices).

Each workout is a way to make your body better than it was when you were earning your butt groove on the couch.

Don’t hit the gym with the intention of being better than that other girl or guy.  Make your workout count; run a little harder, lift a little heavier, stretch a little longer.

You’re a new person every day.

~Fit Bitch

Healthy NOT Skinny (Day 14)

Healthy not Skinny

Scroll to the top of this page….see my tag line??

“Because Being Healthy Doesn’t Mean Being Thin.”

That is true.  There are plenty of thin people who aren’t healthy and plenty of healthy people who aren’t thin.

What’s more true is that if you make your choices bases upon the idea goal that you want to be healthier, happier, and more productive, then I believe you will surpass that goal  easily.

Getting “skinny” is, often, a result of your healthy living but it shouldn’t be your main goal.  There are so many other wonderful, beautiful outcomes of making healthy choices – better health (obviously), stronger muscles, more endurance, better heart health, increased circulation, lower cholesterol, etc. etc. etc.  The list goes on.

Don’t let the idea of thinness be your main priority – it’s a perfect way to set yourself up for failure.  Love yourself.  Embracing the body you have does not mean you have to stop continuing to better it – but be proud of who you are.  Loving yourself will give you the confidence to keep going (or get started!).

Love YOUR Body - not someone else's

I would love this caption more if we could get rid of “leaner” – so let’s just scratch that out, k?

~Fit Bitch

Do it for YOU! (Day 8)

DO IT FOR YOU

Oh my gosh, YESSSS!!

Let me just tell you that when you stop “dieting” and exercising for everyone else (boyfriend, wife, mother) and start making better choices for YOU you will see all the difference in the world.

When you’re ready to make the changes – that’s when you’re doing it for yourself (even if it’s so that you can play with your kids without getting winded, or keeping up with your spouse on a bike ride) – it’s when you decide that you really are worth the work – because you’re ready).

One of my favorite quotes is one that I heard years ago and it resonated with me and stuck with me.  I’ve quoted it often (even here) and truly believe in it:

If you’re not ready to do the work then you’re not ready to lose the weight.

I know it sounds kind of dickish but I do believe it.  I had struggled for many, many years with my weight.  I’d had every eating disorder and disordered eating for most of my life.  I’d always wanted to lose weight for good but was never able to really do so (up and down it would go from fad dieting, binge exercising, etc.).  Then one day I saw a photo and literally and honestly didn’t recognize the girl in it.  I was clueless as to how high my weight was and in that very moment I made the decision that it was time to change.  And this time would be different.

I went home that day, made a commitment to change my life – healthy, habits, and all – and have not looked back.  I decided to really put the work and and have been a work in progress ever since.  And I am so happy.

When you change your life for yourself – your life will change.  ♥

~Fit Bitch

 

No Definition

No DefinitionI love this little bit of fitspiration.

From the time I was in junior high I’ve been obsessed with the number on the scale instead of with where by body is.

I still fight with those demons.  In fact, I fight with those demons to the point that I have no idea what my actual weight is.  I guestimate.  I get weighed at the doctor’s office only and even then I choose not to know the number.

I’ve worked very hard to get to where I am – both physically and mentally – and I am proud of my accomplishments in the fitness and healthy living world.  I’ve overcome my eating disorders – and for the most part, my disordered eating – but there’s still that little piece about the number that resonates in me.  *sigh*  I hope to not be battling these demons forever.

I tell my clients too that they should not focus on the number of their weight.  That, instead, they should focus on their healthy choices and fitness regime.  Ignore the BMI (because it’s really not an accurate way to measure your health anyway) and be mindful of their lifestyles.

Be proud of how far you’ve come.  Even if you’ve only lost a pound of fat or gained a pound of muscle – that’s further than where you were last week or month.  That’s something.

I am proud of where I am today compared with where I was this time last year.  Sometimes I need to remind myself about the strength within.  Sometimes I need to quiet those demons.  I’m getting there.  Are you?

#Ownit  #loveyourself

~Fit Bitch

Monday Love

I have so much to say….I need more time.

Life is catching up with me these days and I’m super tired.  But hang tight…I WILL be back.  In the meantime I leave you with this:

You're Awesome!

Stay tuned….more to come from me.  🙂

~Fit Bitch