Personal Triumph

Many of my days are spent thinking about my workouts.  My next workout.  Sometimes I am so darn excited I can’t get it out of my head.  I’ll spend my entire work day anticipating getting to the gym.  And I love my job, so it’s not like I’m watching the clock for the day to end so I can get the heck outta there, I just really, really can’t wait to get to my happy place.

Let me clear, the gym is not my only happy place, but it sure does change my mood!

How I feel about the gym these days is a lot different than how I felt years ago when I wrote about my addiction to exercise.  Back then, though it was just a couple of years ago, it was an addiction.  I was obsessed with when I was going to exercise next and was working out several times a day, every day.  Now, I’m just excited about my fitness goals and the tasks in front of me and how I feel after I’ve completed the workout.  I’m not dissing my workout goals when I was addicted because I had great goals and I thoroughly enjoyed my workouts.  I think my biggest problem then was that it was controlling me and almost every move I made.  (Cue The Police’s Every Breath You Take.)

These days when I plan a routine for the gym – or even for one of my classes – I’m taking my fitness to new levels.  I’m taking on tasks that I never thought I’d be doing – or interested in.  And when I’m finished, when my time is finally up and I’m ready to leave, I am usually quite pleased with how my time was spent and with what I accomplished.

No regrets








You Don’t Know Me

From reading some of my previous posts over the last year +, you’ve probably come to realize that I hate the scales. I think scales can be the devil and can deter your efforts and, honestly, make you feel like a big ol’ pile of crap. I hate them.

Spending a good portion of my teenage years suffering from eating disorders, I became obsessed with my weight, scales and weighing myself – sometimes doing so 3 and 4 or more times a day. I lived on the minimalist of food – usually just a spoonful of yogurt in the morning, sometimes an apple midday. And I’d jump on the scales all those times hoping, praying for the number to go down, not realizing that that little contraption was killing me slowly.

Eventually, after therapy, relapses, more therapy, and a change in attitude, I decided to never, myself, get on the scales again. I do so only at the doctor’s office and even then, I am not permitted to know my weight. It is too detrimental to my mental health and to my heart.

I’m not going to lie to you…as much as I am all for fitness and healthy and clean living, I still struggle with these demons I probably always will. It is a part of who I am and, for the most part, whether I like it or not, I’ve accepted it.

But you know what? Regardless of the number of the scale, how many squats I can do, how many miles I can run – none of that defines me! What defines me is my spirituality, my personality, my soul, my love, my beliefs, my values – the things that actually MATTER!

I share these personal words with you so that you can accept who you are and (hopefully) not let the nonsense define you either. We are all wonderful creatures and we should be able to lay our heads down at night and reflect on “Was I a good person today? Did I love to my fullest today? Did I live to my fullest today?” and not “Did I eat too much today? Did I exercise enough today? Did I gain any weight today?”<<- because that crap right there doesn't matter. We are who we are. There is no justice in those scales. Love yourself!


~Fit Bitch