I was born premature. I spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was young; too much time. I was a very sick little girl. I grew up with lung and breathing issues, which, in my older age, have not subsided. I am prone to pneumonia, bronchitis, asthma and other breathing difficulties that leave me panting and puffing like a 40 year smoker.
When I was 16 I developed eating disorders. Lots of them. My eating disorders lasted for several years and I put my body through Hell. I disrespected it.
When I was in high school it was discovered that I have a mild heart condition. I was told that I’d have a pacemaker by the time I was 30.
I was afraid of everything and I hated my body.
Then years ago I discovered running. And I fell in love. I get that runners’ high and it’s incredible. I used to run every day. I could not wait to get outside and run like the wind.
But after surgery a year and a half ago I put running on hold. I was back in the gym but I could not bring myself to run. I just couldn’t get into it. Sure I ran here and there as I prepared to match my friend’s 10k, but I was running for the wrong reasons. And I resented it.
A month ago I decided to run again. I realized just how much I’d missed it and now I’m running nearly every day. I crave it. AND, what I’m really impressed with is my stamina and my ability to not gasp and gag and pray for air. My breathing is better and my heart rate is steady and I’ve been able to run for longer distances than I ever had before. I feel incredible.
I have only been able to take advantage of an outside run once so far this year so I’ve been running on an increased incline on the treadmill each day. That, along with my steady lung flow, makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. When I’m in my zone, I feel like I’ve accomplished so much – even if just personally.
And I really have to thank Darius Rucker (aka Hootie) because his song Wagon Wheel has become my go-to running song (it’s great for keeping a pace, bolting when needed, and generally rockin’ out – don’t judge me).
I am tipping my hat to myself and am hoping that I
can will keep up with my running pattern and increasing my abilities – and I thoroughly look forward to getting back outside for my run, should the Nova Scotia weather choose to cooperate.