I Know It’s Just a Number

Scales can be the Devil

Scales can be the Devil

Friday I had an appointment with my doctor to follow up on my heart tests, insomnia, etc.   My last visit with her I, once again, addressed my weight.  I am at a good weight.  I am healthy and fit; in the perfect BMI range for my height and age; and as I’d mentioned a while back, my cholestoral levels are “impeccable” (I really like saying that word).  Everything seems to be fine and dandy except, regardless of my exercise schedule and insane regime, I am having a difficult time getting over a plateau.

The last 2 weeks I have decreased my cardio somewhat while at the gym to focus more on strength and building more muscle – as this will certainly help with weight loss – and I know I should really be believing in all that “muscle weighs more than fat” mumbo jumbo since I preach it all the time.  BUT, when I got on the scale (backward, by the way because my doctor and I deem it neccessary for me not to know the number) and found out I’d gained a pound I nearly had a meltdown.  A pound!  I know.  It’s not a big deal.  And my doc and I discussed the exercise and the training and the  “muscle weighs more than fat” mumbo jumbo and I tried to stay calm.

But deep down inside I am still the 16 year old girl with eating disorders and fat fear and OMG, self-esteem issues to the max.  And although I know it’s just a number and there are/could be many contributing factors to weight gain of one pound, I still feel sad and disappointed and frustrated that, in my own mind, I am still not good enough.

So, here’s to good thoughts and self love and exercising for the right reasons and to good (mental and physical) health.

~Fit Bitch


5 responses to “I Know It’s Just a Number

  1. Sarah

    When I read this, I felt like it was something that I would write word for word. It is so hard to get over the issues we have at 16 and plague us for life. I have stopped weighing myself for my mental health and focusing on what I am seeing. The weight lifting is helping with what I am seeing so it does pay off in the long run!

  2. Hi Sarah: Isn’t it horrible how we are our own worst enemy? I am so supportive of my friends and comrades who have made the decision to change their lifestyles to include better eating and include exercise. But when it comes to pushing or motivating myself with this issue I am a jerk. 😉
    I’m hoping that getting over my cardio addiction and putting more emphasis on weights and strength will certainly aid in getting over my plateau.

  3. The crazy thing for me was when I was really trying to make a difference to my health and I had a personal trainer, I was eating right and the weight wasn’t shifting.

    That was until I mentioned it despairingly to my trainer who promptly dragged me over to the body analysis thingy-ma-bob and showed me that in the last month – YES I had not lost a kilo…. in total. But I had shifted 2 Kilo’s of fat and replaced it with 2 kilos of muscle.

    Not ground-breaking but it was at that moment it clicked – the number over a short period of time is totally irrelevant and continues to be irrelevant without all the facts.

    Like calorie counting, it can help you guide yourself but never rely on the exact number.

    Ultimately as long as you feel healthy, you eat healthy and you’re making the right choices – THAT is what matters 🙂

    • I get what you’re saying and I completely agree and often dish out the advice that I should be heeding myself. But, for me, it’s still diffult to wrap my head around the number sometimes and to just let it go…to let go of the self-destructive teenager inside of me that I once was. I’m working on it. 🙂

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